Recently, I was asked to help an author shorten a paper by 10% to meet the word-count requirements of the target journal. The paper was already quite short and contained little extraneous information. However, by using the techniques illustrated here with example sentences, I accomplished the task without eliminating anything important. Consider the following sentences:
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In science writing—as opposed to, say, literary criticism or cultural studies—a premium is placed on precise, clear language. Unambiguous communication of information is in fact the fundamental goal of science writing. One way to achieve this goal is to consistently use the most precise language possible: choose a precise word or phrase and use it consistently. Consider the following (simplified) sentences taken from the abstract, introduction, discussion, and conclusion of a chemistry paper:
We investigated the antiatherogenic properties of the compound.
We investigated the antiatherosclerotic properties of the compound.
We investigated the antiatherosclerosis activity of the compound.
We investigated the atherosclerosis-preventing activity of the compound.
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Miscues involving prepositional phrases
Sentences with two subjects separated by “and” can be ambiguous when the first subject contains a prepositional phrase. Here’s an example I ran across recently in a chemistry paper I was editing:
In addition to being an editor, I’m also a knitter, and I occasionally teach knitting and write knitting patterns. When I first started writing patterns, I was surprised by the ways that my students could misinterpret instructions that seemed perfectly clear to me, and I quickly learned to word my instructions as clearly and precisely as possible. The same could be said of the Materials and Methods section of a scientific paper.
Part of my job as an ESL editor is to help authors choose the best word to precisely convey his or her intended meaning—le mot juste. For example, the results of an experiment can indicate, suggest, imply, or mean something. A laboratory scientist can employ a technique, method, procedure, or system. Which word conveys exactly the right nuance?